Keeping it real...

Its been quite a while since I last posted some thoughts - maybe "a while" is in understatement. The reason? Well there are a few factors that have entered into my lack of blogging: Busyness at work and home have been at an all time high and more importantly there haven't been too many topics and thoughts that I have felt pressed to comment on and share my thoughts.

That changed yesterday as I was doing my random Twitter check.

Twitter is great because you get short bursts of peoples thoughts. opinions, locations, and goings ons. Its also a great place to practice the art of discernment. I often talk with my friends and co-workers about the power of positive tweeting and sarcastic tweeting. I will have to admit, I don't always tow the line on using twitter to encourage (UK fans are well aware of this-#freeenes-see pic above) but I am attempting to keep my sarcasm and negative thoughts off the computer screen as much as possible.

Another way that I see this social media craze taking a left turn is when people will post updates and it is obvious that they are trying to side step accountability by "letting it all out there".

I follow several random artists/celebrities and there is one particular guy that we'll say is more of a "progressive" christian - I'm pretty sure he would be flattered  with that label. He likes to post things and then invite anyone who is conservative in their politics to "unfollow" him. He's often known to update how many followers he has lost in a day - a badge of honor, I guess. He is criticized for his "falling away from true Christianity" and praised for his "realness'.

I'm rambling - here's his tweet:

     "regarding the content of my twitter feed, expect me to write about the whole of life, not just my spirituality. otherwise, best to unfollow"
    
Most of the replies to this talked about how great it is that He is so "real" or how he needs to come back to his roots as a Christian. I replied that I wasn't sure you could separate spirituality from your "whole" life but i digress....

Here's the deal: Realness does not equal controversial. I certainly don't agree with everyone on Twitter or even the friends I interact with in person daily. I don't have that expectation of my relationships. What I wish I could expect from everyone is that they be "real" in their convictions and struggles and not use them to boast or as a badge of honor.

Victories in life, struggles with Sin, political views, social convictions and any thing else under the sun should be shared to encourage and grow with one another. Not shock, intentionally offend, or marginalize others.

Flaunting our choices knowing it will offend others, I believe, often shows our uneasiness with our behavior. We want to put on a front of confidence and a "don't judge me" because I am being "real" attitude when in fact we are dodging what the bible outlines as accountability. Yes - it's best to be "real" with one another but it's so we can encourage and uplift one another.

I love this passage in James 5 out of the Message Translation:

13 Are you hurting? Pray. Do you feel great? Sing.14 Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master.15 Believing-prayer will heal you, and Jesus will put you on your feet. And if you’ve sinned, you’ll be forgiven—healed inside and out.16 Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed. The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with.


In Verse 16 we are urged to confess and then pray so we can be whole and healed - or as I like to think "Real". Wouldn't it be great if we all could do this every day with everyone...

Summer Namm...Silly and Sick Gear

Had a chance to attend summer NAMM last month. Below are some pics of the goofy gear and my list of top gear.

    I of course was most interested in finding some new Bass maker but was unsuccessful. I did however see some funky Bootsy Collins Signature basses, a 12 string bass, and THE BASS player Victor Wooten:

  

There were all sorts of custom Pedal and Guitar Makers but none really were standouts compared to what I am already familiar with. We did however find the most annoying sounding and looking guitar every built:

Warrior Guitars were there and they are exploring a new DeathMetalWorship line of guitars. This one is called "Crown of Thorns":

Enough of the odd and silly stuff. Here is the gear I found most interesting:

1. Mono Cases "Fly By" : Mono has always made great guitar, bass, and DJ cases but this new backpack is designed for the mobile studio. It has a detachable section for your laptop (great for flights) and plenty of room for all those cables and interfaces you need to cart with you.

2. Burriss Amps "Dirty Red"  : This Lexington based company has built a really sweet little head. It really sang at low volumes and had a really smooth breakup as it was cranked up. Not sure about the lunch pail design of the case but you can get past that as soon as you hear it.

3. Sensaphonics Ears "3D Active Ambient System" : I have been a faithful user of a certain IEM company for almost a decade but these Ears are making me think about switching. The folks at Sensaphonics have added ambient mics into their Ears and allow you to dial in (in 4db intervals) how much stage volume you want. They also have a switch for full ambience at a moments notice. Incredible advancement in the realm of personal monitoring.

4. Eden Electronics EGRW264 "gig rig" : This little package is AMAZING. The wtx-264 bass head weighs less than 5 pounds and can be dropped into any decent sized gig bag. Add to that the full range punch and drive of the ex110 bass cabinet and you can drop into any small-medium sized gig at the last minute, set-up and hold down the low end without issue. This rig is perfect for those of us using ears and wanting some stage presence with that classic punchy/full Eden sound.

5. Telefunkens ELA m 260 microphone : One of the great things about these shows is all the Mic companies setup their product in a way that you can quickly compare. There were all sorts of great mics but this mic caught my attention the most. Its tight pattern (it barely picked up the show floor noise), warmth, and clarity were second to none. I am anxious to hear this in a studio application but I have no doubt it would carve out its own niche on the spectrum of sounds.

There of course was all sorts of other cool stuff but these were the 5 that made me stop back by the booth at least twice!

Having an Impossible Week...Do Something Illogical!

I shared the following with our staff on Monday and have had several great conversations in the days that followed. I thought maybe there might be something in here that could speak to the readers of this blog.

In your next prayer time maybe you could go through the following areas - it will take 15 to 20 minutes of your day. When you are finished i would love to hear if God has revealed anything specific to you about your life!

Read Luke 5:4-7

We need to dive into the Impossible/Illogical things God is Calling us to 
       - Are there Projects/Relationships I find impossible?
        - What in my life seems so far out in left field? Am I able to trust God in those illiogical times?
         - Pray that God would place you in an impossible/illogical situation where only He can take credit

Read Exodus 17:1-13


  We need to be available and supportive to those we follow (Exodus 17:9-13)
         - Am I a good follower? Even when my leader seems Illogical or the situation seems Impossible?
         - What ways can I support those that lead me? God show me the small ways to encourage
         - Ask God to put you in a position to Trust and Follow – Ask for wisdom in how to be supportive

Read Phillipians 3:14-17

Mature in life so when confronted with Impossible/Illogical situations you imitate Christ and in turn are imitated. (Philippians 3:14-17)
         - Are there areas I am not imitatable?
         - Ask God to place on your heart an awareness of who is watching you
         - Pray that God would provide situations and opportunities for you to grow in your maturity and provide  an example to those around you

The Environments Marketing Problem

I am a Twitter guy. I quickly became frustrated with Facebook, from the constant layout changes to the daily updates on pregnancies and children and all the people in the mafia that own farms. Twitter was there in my time of social networking need and I couldn't be happier to have it update my FB status for me so i don't have to endure all the "noise" on there (i can't really shut down my account - all my "friends" would be offended).

Of the many reasons I love Twitter (and there is an ever growing list) one of them is the fact that i can follow a few "fringe" people in our culture and get some insight on popular culture and viewpoints in 140 characters or less. I got a great quote in my feed the other day that really made me think about 2 areas in life that I tend to find myself in conversation about: Recycling and Religion. 

 

"Ruining the environment all week then absolving ourselves by recycling on Monday is as close to religion as some of us get."

 

Soak that in for a second. It doesn't take long to see the connection does it?

Of course most reading this go to thoughts of being a Christian on Sunday and then back to our routine throughout the week. I admittedly did the same at first but then I began to think about why I cannot stand to recycle and why I am always quick to discredit environmentalists an there causes.

I made a list:

1. I am not interested in causes that are popular because of trendiness - even if they are intrinsically good. I tend to fight against that.

2. I am not a fan of the color green.

3. Everytime i go to throw a piece of plastic in the recycling container my wife tells me that it can't go in there because of some random property it contains (ex. frozen cardboard, bottlecaps).

4. The "inconvenient truth" that the environmentalists use natural resources poorly, even in advertising and promoting their cause. Anyone watch "Live Earth"?

Really the list could go on.

Do I think recycling is bad? Of course not! Does the marketing and process by which its accomplished prevent me from buying in. Unfortunately yes. If I observed real people really applying their beliefs with a process in place for me to buy in and be engaged without all the hoops to jump through I'd be inclined to not only buy in but promote the cause.

Now on to The Church...Do i really need to spell it out?

We've got work to do.

One of those moments

I had what i call "one of those moments" this weekend.

It's always special when a series or sermon topic parallels something in my life. We are in this sermon series "Miracle Grow" and this weekends topic dealt with providential relationships. God has blessed me with so many different people that have influenced my life and I hope and pray that I have had a positive influence on others experiences. As I worshipped this weekend it was so powerful and moving to think about the people sharing the stage with me that have each influenced my life on different levels.

I thought of Deuce who recently went through a terribly heartbreaking time with his wife. His infectious smile, energy and passion for leading our church in worship are all an example of faith that I want to have in my life. Then there is Barry who is such an encouragement to his wife and children, I hope and pray that my children know how much I believe in them and that I am as solid a family man as him.

I've watched Stephen and Emily put so much sweat and heart into preparing for a weekend that I have been challenged to re-evaluate my efforts in preparing to lead worship. Charlie and Tracy have brought a deeper level of spiritual depth to the team and model a fully devoted life that is infectious!

One of my favorite faces around church is James. I think that he has been one of the most pivotal people in our worship experience. When James showed up in the "old sanctuary" with his electric guitar and crazy guitar synth he was on the front end of our transition into a modern, guitar driven worship style.



Not only was he in the right place at the right time but he has embraced 100% the vision both musically and spiritually. We have had spirited debate and great talks about family, faith and music over the years and I consider him one of my "brother in arms" in this worship journey.

And finally there is Kevin. Now Kevin is not someone that our church sees very often - in fact he has a community of believers that he belongs to and is fully committed to but, every once in a while I convince him to bring his amazing God-given voice over to the south side of town. Kevin and I were in a band together for almost 7 years and being around each other and collaborating musically have helped to bring perspective to our lives and music. He has such a heart for people and for his wife and kids. I heard one of the team members say to him this weekend "i'd pay money to hear you sing" (to be honest there are few people that I think are that good and Kevin is one of them). He hasn't ever wanted that though. He would prefer to write songs and collaborate with friends all the while developing his walk with God.

Standing on stage behind Kevin and alongside the team during the song "Let It Be Me" I had that moment where i realized how impacted I have been by those around me and how cool it is that God allows us to influence each other and collaborate in this song we we call life.

If I wanted I could write this post every weekend - seriously! I am so blessed to have a diverse, Christ centered team of people i serve with. I was reminded this weekend to watch and learn from each one of them. So if you serve in the team just know I'm watching you!

Mailing it in...

Had a great weekend that included a birthday party, worship on sunday, and a quick trip to Michigan (which i'll write on soon). Played a song in church this weekend that wouldn't be considered one of my favorites and according to one of the band members "couldn't have been written any worse".

It brought to mind a conversation that i had with a group of worship leaders a year or so ago. We were wrestling with the question "is it possible to authentically lead a song you genuinely dislike"? There were several great points made in that discussion. Points that come to mind include: the worship experience is just as much about whether the audience connects as the leader, there is always something of value in a song and you should find it and focus on it, and working through a song that you struggle with can be viewed as an act of worship.

I was able to see this past point in action this weekend. I have to admit going into rehearsal I was already nervous because I knew that this particular band member really disliked the song but had a huge part that would make or break the song. As soon as we started rehearsal there were the predictable comments about how bad the song was and how we all had thought through what we could do different to the arrangement to make it more enjoyable to play. With no decent ideas we relented to doing the song as normal.

I was so impressed as we kicked off the song and this band member ripped into his part and executed it not only in the same style of the song but with all the little nuances in there as well. He had really done his homework on it even though it wasn't fun for him at all to execute. i had to wonder if God was even more pleased with his worship because he stepped up his effort when he could have mailed it in and called it good.

If i took a poll probably every band member we have at Southland has a song or two (or three!) that they are less than excited about playing when they are on but the audience (and other band members) would never know it because they all take there craft and worship seriously. It really makes me proud to be a part of the team!

The idea of bringing your best attitude and effort can apply to every aspect of your life and really honors God, especially when you find yourself in a situation where you are less than motivated. Remember you never know who you are influencing and also that God wants your best in all situations.

And no - I'm not going to tell you the song or the band member. Hopefully as far as you can tell we love all the songs we play!

Hey you!...That's right I'm talking to you!

Are you the type of person that it takes someone knocking you upside the head or standing in your face with a bullhorn to get your attention? I am and was reminded of it in a great conversation the other day with a lady on staff concerning the Holy Spirit.

So often i go through my days thinking about facts and hard logic. i tend to take past history or "common sense" into my decision making and advice that i give to others. Times that i feel leadings outside of these areas i often refer to as my conscience or emotional intelligence.

The thing is, when i chalk it up to my "conscience" its too easy to ignore it because I don't feel accountable to God in it - it's "my" conscience not God's spirit. I am finding that the more i am grounded on the Word daily and resting in moments of prayer my "conscience" begins working overtime!

I had some questions i needed answered to i went to my friend with those and within a few minutes she was handing me a book on the Holy Spirit and encouraging me to acknowledge these promptings as God speaking through His Spirit, not my own mind. I shared my feelings that it's a lot easier to ignore my own self than God's Spirit and how scary it can be to let go and surrender to the Spirit. In response she shared this really beautiful and encouraging thought:

"The Holy Spirit knows you better than you know yourself and He will never prompt you in an area you are not equipped to handle". 

Talk about a freeing statement if you acknowledge its truth! When we are daily in the Word and in open conversation with God we should have confidence in His leading through the Holy Spirit, moving boldly into territories he's already prepared us for.

For me this is still easier said than done but i am choosing to own this Truth as I start each day in hopes that I will acknowledge Him in every prompting and situation. How about you?

Mr. Big Stuff...who do you think you are

Matthew 18

1 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 He called a little child and had him stand among them.3 And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

humbling text this morning - in three different ways Jesus tears you open about how you perceive yourself and others. Wanting to be the greatest, looking down on others and refusing to forgive are all things that i struggle with every day! we are so deceived to think that status in this world even matters a little bit - why do we continue to strive for that? how often do we continue to judge others - even when the Judge has pardoned us?


its awesome that in two of the sections Jesus uses the image of a child. since becoming a dad i have realized (as every parent does) how much your children teach you and how often they bring conviction to your life. i had one of those convicting moments saturday on the the way to soccer. 

charlie often turns his head in the car away from me if he is frustrated or tired but this time was different as he was whispering to himself. i quickly asked what was up and he promptly responded "dad - don't listen to me".  i thought "what is he upset about or dreaming about"? turns out he was nervous about his soccer game and was asking God to help him score in the 'right' goal! at 5 years old the kid knows that when he's nervous about something he needs to talk to God - not his dad!


now i know i can help him with his nerves by being supportive and reminding him he's loved but i am NOTHING compared to God who knows my sons every thoughts and who loves far beyond anything i can ever even fathom! whats even more humbling is that fact that if charlie had told me he was nervous i would have immediately given him pointers on how to better attack the ball or hustle so that he had a better chance at scoring that goal. is that what he needed - no way! he wanted Gods peace - and received it from its only source.


thanks God for being there for us, for using our children to point out who you are and for reminding us that apart from you we are NOTHING.

technology rules...my life?

just got done using the the speaker phone option on our new phone system at work. its amazing how great these things sound! who knew that we would be living in the day and age where technology was so advanced that i can talk to someone on the phone through a tiny microphone and hear them back on a $2 speaker and feel like they are sitting right in front of me. sure beats the old rotary phone days i grew up on with the big stick on shoulder cushion for "hands free" chatting!

you know one of the other things i love about this type of technology is i can do my own thing and control my interruptions and how often i have to interact face to face with people. caller ID, texting and twitter have all played into this new world for me. as an introvert (ISTP) this is not necessarily a great thing! i too often catch myself wanting to interact with my technology more than with the people that need/deserve my attention.

Donald Miller is an author i follow and he posted this on his blog. give it a read - it was convicting on many different levels. i can remember being amazed when my son knew the difference between a cell phone and an iPhone (and yes there is a HUGE difference). i wonder if he'll think it is nearly as cool in ten years - i hope so, but i'd rather he know how cool i think HE is.

Ding! Ding! Sparring Redefined...

i've been wading through the sermon on the mount this past week and today landed in Matthew 7 and was challenged to think through healthy conflict and judging of others. I have been known in my life as someone who "likes" conflict and who "looks for it" and have had to own those statements at times. i've been learning to swing from a fixer, hard truth teller attitude to someone who uses it as a tool for growth. I have lots of progress to make in this area. The first 5 verses of this chapter remind us that before we can enter a dialogue with someone on their issues we must first address our own (some like to say it says don't judge at all but that would not be a complete reading of this section) and i had to assess where i am at in my progress on this.

as is always the case with God my day had several parallel moments centered on this concept including a really great conversation with a friend on relationships and conflict resolution. we discussed all sorts of aspects including intentions, timing, growth, and judging. at the end of the conversation i shared my philosophy that all issues with someone should be discussed with them at some point because relationships are one of the most important things we have and we need to promote health in them.

i grabbed a quick lunch, hit some meetings and then returned to my office planning to wrap up my day. God put verse 6 out of chapter 7 back in my mind at that moment.

6 "Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy.s Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

i wasn't sure why He prompted me again with this but i thought "i better sit down with it again and investigate". the sermon on the mount is divided up in defined sections about things such as prayer, generosity, fasting, and worry and 7:1-6 is the section on judging. earlier in the day when i had read it i just blew through verse 6 - although i remember thinking "that doesn't make sense to be in this section".

being an extremely wise person i immediately went across the hall to a gentleman i'll call "the danimal" who could help me understand what Christ was saying in this verse and why it has been grouped in the section on judging by the translators. he first gave me the popular interpretation that centered on the idea that Jesus was closing that part of his message and admonishing those listening on how to handle what he had just taught them. this made a great deal of sense but i pressed him on why the translators included it in a particular group instead of having it stand alone. he smiled and lowered his voice a touch like he was going to let me in on the greatest secret of all time and proceeded to bring to light another possible reading of this verse.

the basic idea is that in verses 1-5 God reminds us that we must be pure in heart before we can talk with others about there hearts. basically, if i want to talk with someone about cussing i must first make sure i do not have an issue with cussing. i also must want growth for them and not just an opportunity to show them their weaknesses and shortcomings.

in verse 6 Jesus could be saying "once you have those things covered make sure the person you are planning to confront will accept it - you run the risk that they may not and disregard you or worse, turn on you". Holiness and Truth are the "pearls" of wisdom we have to offer when our hearts are pure but placed in the wrong setting we can risk it being mishandled and/or backfiring on us. this was great stuff for me to think about!

the danimal may or may not be on to something here but it sure brought my conversation from earlier in the day into a completely new light. i might be wrong on my assumption that conflict must happen when issues arise.

so for the next season of my thinking on conflict i'm going to add one more item to my list of "sparring" rules and see if it works:

1. identify and train to overcome my own issues
2. respect the fighters code and have honor in my intentions
and
3. choose my sparring partner wisely!

Ding! Ding!

Gotta Get Back In Time . . .

after having "footloose" in the set this past weekend it got me thinking about all the great movie themes from my childhood. these are in no particular order and is far from an exhaustive list - just 10 tunes that aided me in my movie viewing experiences :

Gonna Fly Now (theme from Rocky)

who doesn't love the strings pumping and the choir of singers singing lyrics you can't understand but make you want to go for a 10 mile run through the city!




Walking On Sunshine (from The Secret of My Success)

Classic Michael J. Fox movie. I also remember hula hooping to this song in 4th grade gym class.









You Could Be Mine (from Terminator 3)

This is one of those songs that made me go see the movie. the second i hear the opening guitar riff there was no question i was going opening weekend.





Axel F (theme from Beverly Hills Cop)

Harold Faltermeyer took the classic instrumental movie theme to a whole new dimension using all synthesizers. this might be the most popular theme song from the 80's.







The Glory OF Love (love theme from Karate Kid II)

I always get this confused thinking its from the original Karate Kid movie. In fact - i'm not sure i ever even saw this movie - HOWEVER i have sung at the top of my lungs every time this song has come up on my iPod playlist.






Ghostbusters

who can forget the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? even better who can forget the the ORIGINAL version of this song? thanks Huey for inspiring Ray Parker Jr.

Miami Vice Theme

ok - so i know this wasn't a movie at the time BUT i couldn't wait to see the cigar boat screaming across the water every week as the 16th note hi-hat and screaming guitar lick got me pumped up for tubbs and crockett to bust some cuban drug lord.

In Your Eyes (from Say Anything)

Never actually saw this movie all the way through but whoever wrote and directed this thing picked one of the most incredible songs to have cusak play through his jam box! i wonder what song he is jamming to in his latest flick "hot tub time machine"?

Bad Boy (Opening Theme to Three Men and a Baby)

Gloria and the Miami Sound Machine are the 80's soundtrack band! Not only was this movie a huge hit (who doesn't love guttenburg) it created quite a buzz the the "ghost boy" in the background of this pic. turns out it was a cardboard cut out of ted danson in a tux.

Back In Time (theme from Back to the Future)

Huey Lewis and the News solidify their stake as the quintessential 80's feel good band with this hit and The Power Of Love both written for what could be called the greatest 80's movie franchise (after Indiana Jones - and no i am not including Star Wars since it started in the 70's).

i miss the days when songs helped define movies - whats on your list?

kick off your mundane shoes!

wrapped up a great weekend @southlandcc today. always love these weekends where things are out of the norm for us. we added 4 services in 3 different venues, ran volunteers back and forth to sing and read scripture (Tom and i sang "footloose" 7 times!), had staff step up to fill needed holes and created other jobs just to create a more inviting atmosphere and most importantly had more 150 people choose Christ in the pond!

so often we can get caught up in the mundane, week to week routine that programming and executing services can become but its weeks like this that i am reminded how much effort, talents and heart we have at this church. a great example of this was the connection team - they stepped up the intentionality of connecting people at the pond and an event that we have held 3 times in the past year was taken up a notch! it was easy to check-in, there were plenty of people along the way to converse and answer questions, and they accomplished all of this with folks that aren't normally part of weekend experiences. what a great feeling knowing people uniquely gifted to connect people and help them find their "next step" were handling an event that often was an additional stress and not in the "sweet spot" of the weekend teams! i am so grateful for their willingness to step in to the gap!

overall the entire southland staff could be found all over our campuses this weekend. from teaching our children, to prepping communion, even riding the buses as pseudo tour guides! and everyone of them i ran into had the biggest smiles on their faces! awesome family i get to be a part of!

i'm excited to hear stories from our danville campus team that we can add to all the amazing ones at the harrodsburg rd. campus. thanks God for Easter, for Your Church, for Your People, for giving us LIFE that we were able to pour back out over the last 3 days!

if you weren't there you should check out jon's message and plan to join us this weekend! i promise you'll be met with people who want to help you find connection and a message that will inspire you to go deeper with God.

its too much cheese...

just returned home from a weekend with my wife at a "marriage conference". i know, it unbelievable to some of you that i would attend such a thing! let me first say - i was prepared for it to extremely high on the cheese factor. the morning we left a coworker was asking me if i thought it would be good and i responded with my typical "we'll see". i felt him pause and i thought to myself "i need to approach this experience with a positive attitude".

so off we went to music city. i thought this is a win-win. my wife will get filled up and i might be able to convince her to hit broadway on saturday to listen to some classic waylon and buck. after dropping the kids at a family members house and checking in we went to register and attend the first session - i was prepared for an overwhelming amount of people smiling and extending their hand to welcome us as we tried to navigate our way to the registration table. as we approached the tables with our name tags we were greeted by a nice lady who asked us our name, picked up our tags for us and handed us our books for the conference. she explained a few brief things and directed us into the ballroom for the first session. quick and easy! upon sitting down i began to notice the room - a stage with video screens flanking it on each side, a "family room" style set in the stage with a lamp and 2 chairs, and a lectern with the conference logo on it. i was sure that we would see a really awful drama using those chairs at some point.

after taking in the stage i tuned my ear into the tunes the sound guy was spinning - the cure, keith urban, coldplay, rascal flatts. i was really surprised to see some intentionality in the pre-conference tunes. this would be one of the highlights of the conference as before each session the songs would mirror the topic. kudos to the sound guy for engaging me in the experience before the sessions even started.

after a light and funny intro to the conference where the host (in his sport coat) and wife made sure to set the content up as "bible based" and made sure to let us know the "movie clips we will show does not mean we endorse the overall movie" we busted into the first session. i thought "ok, this is where we ratchet up the lameness"!

the conference had a secret weapon that i wasn't prepared for - really great speakers who were transparent and direct. both speakers used their wives at different times in the sessions to teach with them and it was very evident that they had and were working through the marriage thing together. did i connect with them on every level? probably not. they dressed up more than i am used to, they used humor that i laughed at but would never admit i really thought was funny (i did though), and their wives gazed at them annoyingly. i asked leann if she would stand on stage just once and gaze lovingly at me for a set - her eye roll is as close as i'll ever get to that!

in addition to real, authentic leaders sharing their journey, the conference designers set us up really well to have great discussion with our spouses. there was just enough time and great starter questions and instructions. you could go as deep as you wanted or you could skim the surface and still feel like you accomplished the "project" with your wife. i think this was a great thing for all those guys that probably were dragged there and struggle to have an open, deep discussion with their wives. as the weekend went on i'm sure they felt more and more comfortable to share their thoughts and feelings. as for me - well, i don't have much trouble sharing whats on my heart/mind so these were great conversations! leann and i even continued several of those conversations as we went to lunch and dinner. i wondered at the time why we don't talk about this stuff more often.

all in all - i had a great time! i'm not sure i learned any earth shattering new material more than i was reminded of things that need attention in my life and marriage. being able to talk through those items with my wife brings accountability to her and allows her to know how to support me.

and that music on broadway - i'm sure it was awesome! i'll have to catch it next time...

nagging experiences

So i had this event last october that i have been thinking changed my life. Actually i think it would be more accurate to say it made me aware that my life needs to change. i've had to deal with lots of side affects physically and have had a fairly smooth complete recovery. most of that recovery has been successful due to hard work and a great therapist and doctor who made wise decisions for me. there is one part of the recovery though that has been out of my hands and that is the 12" x 4" wound that is scarring over. it did really well healing from the inside out until just one spot about the size of a quarter was left. its been 6-7 weeks of this same spot getting better and worse, smaller and bigger.





















what does any of this matter and why take the time to blog on it - well, as with everything it really parallels what's been going on with me in general.

ever feel like you are healing up really well? you've got the scars from wounds and life lessons but you are on the up swing and beginning to look towards the next chapter in your life only to take a look at that scar and see the nagging remains of infection and woundedness? I am realizing more and more that in my healing (im talking spiritual not physical) i continue to find patches that need attention or they just continue to hang around.

about a month ago i was telling my life story to a group and shared an event that happened 16 years ago. In the telling of my story i shared this event in the context that i "knew" what was going on with me at the time and i really believed that i had a grasp on it. after the session one of the people in the group shared some insights and asked directly "have you worked through that event"? in that moment i knew that i had not - i had let a scar develop that i could talk about as if it were healed but there was still a spot that was open and full of infection. that event has directly affected the way i have approached relationships throughout my adult life and my life has not been lived to its full potential because i've never treated this wound and allowed God to bring healing.

it was even more evident this week at a seminar that i have been attending. we were split up into groups with a leader that i had never even seen or spoken to before. after asking a few questions of some of the other members of the group he turned to me and asked if i had any insights on the topic we were discussing in relation to my life. i shared a few thoughts, he asked what i did at the church and then proceeded to strip away layers of my life and speak truth directly to me and challenge me to find health and identity in Christ. Amazing stuff. Its like he had observed me and knew exactly what i was thinking and dealing with - and he doesn't have any information on my past wounds and scars - he just observed my responses and what i was currently involved in.

Now i firmly believe God knows me and the areas that need healing and he used these two individuals to bring challenge to my life. the real issue i deal with though goes back to the opening of this blog - i know i need healing - i know my life needs to change - its starting the process that is so difficult.

the same person who challenged me on dealing with my past suggested i write out my life story in 5 year segments. i think i might try that - probably not for you all to read - more for me to actually lay eyes on my experiences and feelings. at this point i'm willing to give about anything a shot. i just want to BEGIN a healing process instead of TALKING about it.

how about you? are you ready to DO something about your past? are you willing to allow God to expose your infections and begin the process of healing?

Charlie - I am your father

Attempting to link video to my blog so I thought I'd throw up my sons favorite experience from the last 6 months.

"i wasn't afraid because God was with me" - Charlie

- Posted using my iPhone

influential experiences

i'm currently in a season where i am learning more and more how my past has shaped who i am today. one of the things continues to show up in my mind is the very unique and distinct differences between myself and my 3 brothers.

a key fact is that i am 10, 11, and 14 years younger than my brothers and so i grew almost in an entirely different generation. they each went on to college in the early 80's and i entered college in 1993.

whats really interesting is not necessarily how different i am than each of them but how unique they each are in relation to each other as well. here is a general breakdown of the path each of us has taken.

Brother R: born in 1961: Father of 2, Minister in the CMA church, married a girl he met at a christian college, moved around the midwest eventually ladning in north central ohio.

Brother D: born in 1964: Father of 1, scientist, after grad school married an italian/eastcoast girl, not religious, settled in the northeast.

Brother S: born in 1965: Father of 4, Sales Management, moved to california after college and married, catholic.

Brother M (me): born in 1975: Father of 2, Minister, married my high school girlfriend, moved to kentucky out of high school.

there's one point that is a common thread: we all left home and never returned once we went into college. I attribute this several things including the independent spirit our mother instilled in each of us and the big dreams our parents always encouraged us to chase. (my mother now regrets that independent spirit having to travel thousands of miles each year to see the grandkids!)

i know - i'm not really on point with this blog - stick with me!

here's the kicker: my parents where children of ministers and devoted christians and they themselves were committed christians and church volunteers. notice that all 4 of their sons have chosen different paths? Minister, Agnostic, Catholic, Minister. Wait a minute - 2 of those are the same and most would argue catholic is very similar. if you dig a little deeper you'll find that my oldest brother and I (both ministers) are similar in our beliefs but quite different culturally. i would consider him more conservative socially/culturally than i am (i can provide examples if you'd like). when it comes to my 3rd brother being catholic there are two key observations 1. he was raised in a town that had a strong catholic presence but was taught in our baptist church that they were not christians and 2. he's catholic because he married into a catholic family. he could of as easily been presbyterian.

notice that the two outside sons put an emphasis on faith (although in different generations and different expressions culturally) and the middle two sons did not? i talked with my parents about this once and got an interesting and revealing perspective from our dad. he shared with me their journey with the local church. as my oldest brother was coming up through school they were involved in a vibrant church that was ministering to the students. my parents also embraced relevant music and activities that engaged my brother (at the time keith green and andre crouch were the rage!). however, when their middle two sons came along in the middle school age the church was struggling and my parents attitude toward church was not positive at all. our dad felt obligated to serve as a volunteer music leader but our mother didn't want to attend and eventually left to go to another church. this caused (in my fathers mind) confusion and left an impression on my middle to brothers. by the time i came along our parents where back in the swing of church and volunteering and the youth program provided me with a great core group of friends.

i'm sure there are many more factors to why we have each chosen to approach faith in our own ways but the church "experience" that each of us were brought up under and our parents response to it certainly gives some perspective to how we can guide those around us with whom we have influence. i know my parents live with a certain amount of guilt (right or wrong) with their attitudes towards church during those years.

let's continue to be alert to those around us and under our care. when we look back in 20 years we'll be able to celebrate those experiences that have shaped their lives in a positive way.

that just happened - I think

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you "woke up" in the middle of it realizing you can't remember the last 3 minutes? The most common example is likely driving the interstate and not remembering the last 10 miles.

I had one of those moments this weekend. We were in the middle of a phil wickham song "cannons" during the first set. This is a song that I am pretty comfortable with but I wouldn't say I "own" it yet. As we rolled into the 2nd chorus I freaked because I could not remember singing the 2nd verse. Then I thought "I just sang the first verse again". Coming off stage I asked the crew "did I just double that verse?" they all assured me that I sang the correct lyric.

I've been trying to remember what distracted me. Was it my battle all weekend with my guitar tone? The people on the front row staring at the stage blankly? The extremely loud synth patch in my mix?

Not sure I'll figure it out but isn't it interesting that our minds can instruct our body to play the right chords with the right pickup selected, the correct strum pattern, sing the correct melody with the correct lyrics and be thinking about the really cool guitar lick I just heard or have thoughts about the people that are walking out of church early?

I'd like to think that I was so engaged in the experience that i was extremely comfortable but I have to ask myself if I kicked into autopilot and just got lucky!

- Posted using my iPhone

altered experiences

woke up with a question on my mind today and thought i might throw it out there for the world to think about.

what is it that motivates people to "keep on going" through difficult and often tragic situations?

the story of the bronze medal winning Canadian skater continuing to compete, and from what i understand finishing better than expected, just days after her mother passed away has made me think through how i would handle such an experience.

another great example sits closer to home. this past weekend we welcomed back one of our band members who had been out for the last six months caring for his dying mother. (i like to call him bulletproof so i'll refer to him as BP). with his mother having passed on he decided it was time to get back in the swing of things. what i wasn't aware of was the fact that he was going through the exact same thing with his father. given only days left to live BP still made the decision to be a part of the band this weekend. on sunday morning he got word that his father had passed on - just before the last service - and with tears in his eyes he pushed forward and gave everything he had. he could have easily asked for relief or at least brought to light what was going on - but he choose instead to accomplish what was in front of him. i won't speculate here why i think he did that but i will say that his language afterward was that of someone who saw a bigger picture in all of it.

i'm interested - have any of you pushed through tragedy similar to these stories?

the toilecaster

I think my bathroom experience would be taken up a notch by one of these :



- Posted using my iPhone

comfortable cartwheels

Currently watching a beginner gymnastics class that includes my 5 yr old son and 5 girls between the ages of 7 and 11. Most of us would be really uncomfortable in this situation - not able to keep up, all girls, an attention span issue. No issue for Charlie. He has an amazing knack for creating his own little experience within his current environment. A great imagination, desire to do new things and an encouraging teacher make my sons experience a huge success.

seeing isn't always believing

As I've been working today I threw in the Eagles Farewell I DVD to listen to. I've always preferred to hear a live recording over the studio version - I can often imagine myself inside that experience much easier than a highly produced studio track (although i find great satisfaction in both). What i find interesting about this DVD (and i'm sure every eagles DVD I would watch) is that every time I take a glance at the TV I am completely taken out of the music. These guys are really difficult to watch! very little emotion, showmanship, and finesse - at least visually that is. As soon as i turn my eye back to my computer i can sense the emotion, finesse, and vibe. I think what makes this band survive in this era where look is as important as talent is their chemistry and overall approach to the "song". In this case Hearing is Believing.

(one other note - its really cool to see Frey sing along with the other members original tunes. It shows a real genuine respect for his peers)

perception is experience

Been thinking recently that things get really complicated when you come at situations with all sorts of different backgrounds, experiences, ideas and expectations. Feelings and emotions are like a lense and every person has a different prescription they view life through. It takes great effort to see through another persons lense but when you are able to focus your eyes you begin to relate to their experience in a whole new way.