i've been wading through the sermon on the mount this past week and today landed in Matthew 7 and was challenged to think through healthy conflict and judging of others. I have been known in my life as someone who "likes" conflict and who "looks for it" and have had to own those statements at times. i've been learning to swing from a fixer, hard truth teller attitude to someone who uses it as a tool for growth. I have lots of progress to make in this area. The first 5 verses of this chapter remind us that before we can enter a dialogue with someone on their issues we must first address our own (some like to say it says don't judge at all but that would not be a complete reading of this section) and i had to assess where i am at in my progress on this.
as is always the case with God my day had several parallel moments centered on this concept including a really great conversation with a friend on relationships and conflict resolution. we discussed all sorts of aspects including intentions, timing, growth, and judging. at the end of the conversation i shared my philosophy that all issues with someone should be discussed with them at some point because relationships are one of the most important things we have and we need to promote health in them.
i grabbed a quick lunch, hit some meetings and then returned to my office planning to wrap up my day. God put verse 6 out of chapter 7 back in my mind at that moment.
6 "Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy.s Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
i wasn't sure why He prompted me again with this but i thought "i better sit down with it again and investigate". the sermon on the mount is divided up in defined sections about things such as prayer, generosity, fasting, and worry and 7:1-6 is the section on judging. earlier in the day when i had read it i just blew through verse 6 - although i remember thinking "that doesn't make sense to be in this section".
being an extremely wise person i immediately went across the hall to a gentleman i'll call "the danimal" who could help me understand what Christ was saying in this verse and why it has been grouped in the section on judging by the translators. he first gave me the popular interpretation that centered on the idea that Jesus was closing that part of his message and admonishing those listening on how to handle what he had just taught them. this made a great deal of sense but i pressed him on why the translators included it in a particular group instead of having it stand alone. he smiled and lowered his voice a touch like he was going to let me in on the greatest secret of all time and proceeded to bring to light another possible reading of this verse.
the basic idea is that in verses 1-5 God reminds us that we must be pure in heart before we can talk with others about there hearts. basically, if i want to talk with someone about cussing i must first make sure i do not have an issue with cussing. i also must want growth for them and not just an opportunity to show them their weaknesses and shortcomings.
in verse 6 Jesus could be saying "once you have those things covered make sure the person you are planning to confront will accept it - you run the risk that they may not and disregard you or worse, turn on you". Holiness and Truth are the "pearls" of wisdom we have to offer when our hearts are pure but placed in the wrong setting we can risk it being mishandled and/or backfiring on us. this was great stuff for me to think about!
the danimal may or may not be on to something here but it sure brought my conversation from earlier in the day into a completely new light. i might be wrong on my assumption that conflict must happen when issues arise.
so for the next season of my thinking on conflict i'm going to add one more item to my list of "sparring" rules and see if it works:
1. identify and train to overcome my own issues
2. respect the fighters code and have honor in my intentions
and
3. choose my sparring partner wisely!
Ding! Ding!
