2010-03-29

its too much cheese...

just returned home from a weekend with my wife at a "marriage conference". i know, it unbelievable to some of you that i would attend such a thing! let me first say - i was prepared for it to extremely high on the cheese factor. the morning we left a coworker was asking me if i thought it would be good and i responded with my typical "we'll see". i felt him pause and i thought to myself "i need to approach this experience with a positive attitude".

so off we went to music city. i thought this is a win-win. my wife will get filled up and i might be able to convince her to hit broadway on saturday to listen to some classic waylon and buck. after dropping the kids at a family members house and checking in we went to register and attend the first session - i was prepared for an overwhelming amount of people smiling and extending their hand to welcome us as we tried to navigate our way to the registration table. as we approached the tables with our name tags we were greeted by a nice lady who asked us our name, picked up our tags for us and handed us our books for the conference. she explained a few brief things and directed us into the ballroom for the first session. quick and easy! upon sitting down i began to notice the room - a stage with video screens flanking it on each side, a "family room" style set in the stage with a lamp and 2 chairs, and a lectern with the conference logo on it. i was sure that we would see a really awful drama using those chairs at some point.

after taking in the stage i tuned my ear into the tunes the sound guy was spinning - the cure, keith urban, coldplay, rascal flatts. i was really surprised to see some intentionality in the pre-conference tunes. this would be one of the highlights of the conference as before each session the songs would mirror the topic. kudos to the sound guy for engaging me in the experience before the sessions even started.

after a light and funny intro to the conference where the host (in his sport coat) and wife made sure to set the content up as "bible based" and made sure to let us know the "movie clips we will show does not mean we endorse the overall movie" we busted into the first session. i thought "ok, this is where we ratchet up the lameness"!

the conference had a secret weapon that i wasn't prepared for - really great speakers who were transparent and direct. both speakers used their wives at different times in the sessions to teach with them and it was very evident that they had and were working through the marriage thing together. did i connect with them on every level? probably not. they dressed up more than i am used to, they used humor that i laughed at but would never admit i really thought was funny (i did though), and their wives gazed at them annoyingly. i asked leann if she would stand on stage just once and gaze lovingly at me for a set - her eye roll is as close as i'll ever get to that!

in addition to real, authentic leaders sharing their journey, the conference designers set us up really well to have great discussion with our spouses. there was just enough time and great starter questions and instructions. you could go as deep as you wanted or you could skim the surface and still feel like you accomplished the "project" with your wife. i think this was a great thing for all those guys that probably were dragged there and struggle to have an open, deep discussion with their wives. as the weekend went on i'm sure they felt more and more comfortable to share their thoughts and feelings. as for me - well, i don't have much trouble sharing whats on my heart/mind so these were great conversations! leann and i even continued several of those conversations as we went to lunch and dinner. i wondered at the time why we don't talk about this stuff more often.

all in all - i had a great time! i'm not sure i learned any earth shattering new material more than i was reminded of things that need attention in my life and marriage. being able to talk through those items with my wife brings accountability to her and allows her to know how to support me.

and that music on broadway - i'm sure it was awesome! i'll have to catch it next time...

2 comments:

  1. Great thoughts on the conference. Glad you two liked it. Misty and I are talking about volunteering at the one in Louisville in September. Don't know if we will be able to but we are considering it.

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